What Is Preoccupied Attachment
Attachment and companionship are two crucial human needs. It shapes our interactions with others and how we see ourselves. As we age, companionship becomes an integral part of our lives.
Yet, for many, their personal and intimate relationships are marred by anxious preoccupied - a form of anxious attachment characterized by insecurity, clinginess, and constant worrying about being abandoned or rejected.
Those who are anxiously preoccupied often have difficulty trusting their partner and tend to be jealous and possessive. They may also have trouble controlling their emotions and can become easily overwhelmed by them. These overwhelming feelings can lead to conflict and arguments within the relationship.
For college students and young professionals, anxious preoccupied can manifest in a struggle to keep and maintain healthy and supportive relationships.
The constant worry about rejection or abandonment can lead to unhealthy behaviors such as clinginess, jealousy, and possessiveness. These behaviors can push away the very people we are trying to keep close to, exacerbating our feelings of insecurity and loneliness.
There is hope if you find yourself in an anxious preoccupied pattern. Read on to learn more about this attachment style and how you can work to change it.
What Causes Preoccupied Attachment?
Many factors can contribute to anxious preoccupied. Early childhood experiences, such as having an emotionally unavailable or absent parent, can lead to feelings of insecurity and anxiety about being abandoned.
Other life experiences, such as a divorce or the death of a loved one, can also trigger anxiously preoccupied. These experiences can cause us to doubt our worthiness of love and companionship, leading us to believe that we are not worthy of being loved or that others will abandon us if we are not perfect.
Perfectionism is often a symptom of anxious preoccupation. We may feel like we must be perfect to be loved and accepted. This can lead to unhealthy behaviors, such as people-pleasing and self-sacrificing, in an attempt to keep others close to us.
Other symptoms that may be associated with anxious preoccupied include:
Difficulty trusting others: Because we do not feel secure in our relationships, we may find it difficult to trust others. This can make us suspicious of those closest to us and constantly question their motives.
Jealousy and possessiveness: We may be jealous of the attention our partner gives to others or the time they spend away from us. We may also be possessive of them, feeling like they belong to us and that we cannot bear the thought of them being with anyone else.
Emotional volatility: Our emotions may feel out of control, and we may find ourselves easily overwhelmed by them. We may have difficulty regulating our emotions, leading to arguments and conflict in our relationships.
Low self-esteem: Our feelings of insecurity can lead to low self-esteem and a negative view of ourselves. We may believe that we are not worthy of love or unlovable.
Anxiety and depression: The constant worry about rejection and abandonment can lead to anxiety and depression. These feelings can further fuel our unhealthy behaviors and make it challenging to maintain healthy and supportive relationships.
If you exhibit these symptoms, you may struggle with anxious preoccupied. But there is hope. With awareness and effort, you can work to change your attachment style.
Tips For Managing Preoccupied Attachment In Relationships
Understanding anxious preoccupied can be difficult, but it is essential to do so if you want to manage a relationship with someone who suffers from this condition. Here are some tips to help you:
1. Be aware of the signs that someone is suffering from anxious preoccupied.
First, learning about anxious preoccupation can help you be more aware of the signs that someone is struggling with this condition. If you can identify the symptoms, you can be more understanding and patient with them.
2. Work at honesty and genuine communication.
Clear and honest communication is essential when one or both partners struggle with anxious preoccupied. This can help build trust and provide a space for both of you to share your feelings and needs.
3. Avoid making assumptions.
When we are feeling insecure, it is easy to make assumptions about what our partner is thinking or feeling. But these assumptions can often be wrong and can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. Instead, try to ask your partner directly about their thoughts and feelings.
4. Be patient.
Making changes to our attachment style is not easy, and it takes time. So be patient with yourself and your partner as you both work on making progress.
5. Seek professional help.
If you are struggling to manage being anxiously preoccupied on your own, seek professional help. A psychotherapist can provide guidance and support as you work to improve your relationship. A licensed mental health professional can also provide a diagnosis and rule out other possible causes of the symptoms.
Find Hope With Dr. Wynne
If you are struggling with mental health issues, there is hope. Dr. Eileen Wynne LCSW helps young adults who are dealing with many different mental health issues. Contact her today to schedule a consultation and find out what options are available to you.
Mental health issues can be tough to deal with, but there are many resources available to help. Dr. Wynne is a qualified psychotherapist who can provide you with the support you need to get through these difficult times. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, she is familiar with a variety of mental health issues and can provide you with the help you need.
Dr. Wynne has worked with many clients across the New Orleans region who are struggling with mental health issues. She understands what you are going through and can offer guidance and support. Contact her today to schedule a consultation.
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